alright, afternoon chums. sorry if i was a bit peevish this morning, a hard night at mambo will do that to you.
ok, so heres the post i promised! this Guide will entail three things.
1) the ten best alcohol drinks(and yes, i DO know what im talking about. clearly.)
2) the five best ways to shake off unwanted drowsiness/stoning at a club or outside one.
3) the five best cures for them accursed hangovers.
: )
this post promises to be awesome doesnt it!!! cant wait to get started on it actually. but first... a message from our sponsor(me, doofus)
this public service anouncement is brought to you by lauhan-loong.blogspot.com.
lauhan-loong.blogspot.com..... the ONLY blog in town where the author encourages you to bugger off and die if you dont like what you see.
ok, so heres the post i promised! this Guide will entail three things.
1) the ten best alcohol drinks(and yes, i DO know what im talking about. clearly.)
2) the five best ways to shake off unwanted drowsiness/stoning at a club or outside one.
3) the five best cures for them accursed hangovers.
: )
this post promises to be awesome doesnt it!!! cant wait to get started on it actually. but first... a message from our sponsor(me, doofus)
this public service anouncement is brought to you by lauhan-loong.blogspot.com.
lauhan-loong.blogspot.com..... the ONLY blog in town where the author encourages you to bugger off and die if you dont like what you see.
this... is yanni.
yanni is a sweet, charming girl. shes cool in every sense- she plays a wicked bass guitar, she caps fools in grand theft auto san andreas and she has great taste in music. she is well liked by her friends and seems to have everything going for her.
but yanni has a problem.
yanni cant hold her alcohol.
as the picture shows, whenever yanni is exposed to alcohol, people around her suffer.
the staff at zouk were forced to mop up her "puddle" while she rushed off to the bathroom to freshen up. they had to endure the smell and outright revulsion at the notion of cleaning this woman's belly juices. HER BELLY JUICES. truly, no one breathing or dead deserves this most stomach-churning task.
so please, be considerate. please, dont give yanni alcohol.
hahahahahahahahahahaha
ok, now that THATS over with, we can finally move on to the Guide!
so my top ten favourite alcohol drinks of all time!
10) tequila, because its probably the only good thing to have ever come out of the cesspool we call mexico.
9) white wine, because its a nice, dignified drink
8) vodka, because you can mix it with pretty much anything.
7) bacardi, because without it there would be no bacardi 151.
6) red wine, because it tastes soooooooo good.
5) flaming lambo, because it just looks cooler than anything else in the club.
4) champagne, because its for celebrations and i have much to celebrate.
3) cointreau, because its like rice wine going down and fresh oranges bursting up.
2) get fucked, because its so fucking good.
1) baileys, because.... BECAUSE GIMME MA BAILEYS!!!!
moving right along ladies and gents! the five best ways to get rid of that spinning, helpless feeling you get when you drink too much. not the high, no. its the LOUSY sensation you get AFTER the high. you know the one... where you feel like your heads made of lead and you just wanna crawl into a corner and feel better.
5) walk. dont fucking sit there. walk if off. you need to move your body if you want to get better, so start by walking along a stretch of road or a nice pathway. force yourself to do it and youll feel marginally clearer in a bit.
4) talk. never, EVER let your brain start to wander and shut down. keep talking. make sure that you keep your mind thinking stuff up. this works not only because you regain a measure of awareness of yourself, but also because as your head drags things up from your muddled person, you begin a shaky start towards clearing your blurriness.
3) drink water. right, this is a friggin no brainer. but still. get your drunk self to the neariest convenience store and purchase some mineral water. the water will help as it replaces all the moisture you lose, keeping you safe from partial dehydration(because along with sweating when dancing, alcohol you drink drains you real quick) AND it will help flush out whatever is needed later.
2) vomit. THIS is an extreme. only do it when you KNOW that youll be better off removing the copious amounts of drink in your system. sometimes you do it by your own self, but sometimes you have to force yourself. go ahead, just make sure no one is there to take a picture : )
1) EAT. i cant possibly stress how vital this is. you MUST eat when your in that state. couple reasons why. firstly, the very act of putting food in your mouth, chewing and swallowing will give you a sense of direction, the thing you lack most in this rut. also, when you have food in ya, it begins to absorb the alcohol lingering in your system. especially so if its fast food, the oil will help balance out the drink in you.
OK!!!!! now the part that youve all been waiting for!! my very own methods to address hangovers. try em, i promise youll be amazed at the great results. or not, and endure a pounding headache for a day or two, i dont care.
5) orange juice. reliable old orange juice!!! any brand will do. its more the sweetness and shock you get when you down a glass which hits you like a hammer. it stings like a dirty look from a friend, but it works like a charm. more for the milder of hangovers.
4) The Smoothie. for this you need a blender, and someone to use it while you keep far away so the noise doesnt prompt your aching brain to leap out your ear. 2 spoons of milo powder. 4 bars of kit kat chocolate. 3 spoons of coffee powder. 3 cups of water. 2 bananas, sliced up of course. another cup of water and finally a cup of milk(if your lactose intolerant, use soya milk, they both work fine.). put it all into the blender in that order. mix, drink not more than 3 cups every 2 hours. there you have it, the miracle Smoothie! more for the deadlier of hangovers.
3) dota. ok ok, so what if you suck like shit when your hungover and trying to play dota. it helps you out because, believe it or not, the pain gets numbed by a tremendous amount. no lie! thats why we can play dota and not go hungry, thirsty or to the washroom for hours on end. dota, or other computer games, just blocks off the discomfort while your playing. its possible to actually pawn(or, if you suck at dota, BE pawned) until you get over the hangover.
2) bathe and bathe and bathe. yeah, self-explanatory. keep your body under running water, soon youll feel your worries and stuff just wash off. mmmmmmmmm
1) EAT. FOOD. ok this is vital. eat your breakfast or your lunch as soon as you wake up. i vow its the greatest way to get over your shitty mood. this morning for example, i had scrambled eggs for breakfast. i just wanted to get back to sleep, but i knew that id wake up feeling worse off. so i dragged myself to the table and chowed down. now im feeling mucha mucha better!!!
THATS ALL FOLKS! hope you all found this guide helpful. anyone has any suggestions or hangover cures that have been tried and proven to be ultra effective, pass em to me. ill put em up here!
Carlos Santana feat. Steve Tyler's Feel Better
And I know, I know, I know
Part of me says let it go
That life happens for a reason
I don't, I don't, I don't
Cause it never worked before
But this time, this time
I'm gonna try anything to just feel better
Tell me what to do
You know I can't see through
The haze around me
And I'll do anything to just feel better
I can't find my way
God I need a change
And I'll do anything to just feel better
Any little thing to just feel better
yanni is a sweet, charming girl. shes cool in every sense- she plays a wicked bass guitar, she caps fools in grand theft auto san andreas and she has great taste in music. she is well liked by her friends and seems to have everything going for her.
but yanni has a problem.
yanni cant hold her alcohol.
as the picture shows, whenever yanni is exposed to alcohol, people around her suffer.
the staff at zouk were forced to mop up her "puddle" while she rushed off to the bathroom to freshen up. they had to endure the smell and outright revulsion at the notion of cleaning this woman's belly juices. HER BELLY JUICES. truly, no one breathing or dead deserves this most stomach-churning task.
so please, be considerate. please, dont give yanni alcohol.
hahahahahahahahahahaha
ok, now that THATS over with, we can finally move on to the Guide!
so my top ten favourite alcohol drinks of all time!
10) tequila, because its probably the only good thing to have ever come out of the cesspool we call mexico.
9) white wine, because its a nice, dignified drink
8) vodka, because you can mix it with pretty much anything.
7) bacardi, because without it there would be no bacardi 151.
6) red wine, because it tastes soooooooo good.
5) flaming lambo, because it just looks cooler than anything else in the club.
4) champagne, because its for celebrations and i have much to celebrate.
3) cointreau, because its like rice wine going down and fresh oranges bursting up.
2) get fucked, because its so fucking good.
1) baileys, because.... BECAUSE GIMME MA BAILEYS!!!!
moving right along ladies and gents! the five best ways to get rid of that spinning, helpless feeling you get when you drink too much. not the high, no. its the LOUSY sensation you get AFTER the high. you know the one... where you feel like your heads made of lead and you just wanna crawl into a corner and feel better.
5) walk. dont fucking sit there. walk if off. you need to move your body if you want to get better, so start by walking along a stretch of road or a nice pathway. force yourself to do it and youll feel marginally clearer in a bit.
4) talk. never, EVER let your brain start to wander and shut down. keep talking. make sure that you keep your mind thinking stuff up. this works not only because you regain a measure of awareness of yourself, but also because as your head drags things up from your muddled person, you begin a shaky start towards clearing your blurriness.
3) drink water. right, this is a friggin no brainer. but still. get your drunk self to the neariest convenience store and purchase some mineral water. the water will help as it replaces all the moisture you lose, keeping you safe from partial dehydration(because along with sweating when dancing, alcohol you drink drains you real quick) AND it will help flush out whatever is needed later.
2) vomit. THIS is an extreme. only do it when you KNOW that youll be better off removing the copious amounts of drink in your system. sometimes you do it by your own self, but sometimes you have to force yourself. go ahead, just make sure no one is there to take a picture : )
1) EAT. i cant possibly stress how vital this is. you MUST eat when your in that state. couple reasons why. firstly, the very act of putting food in your mouth, chewing and swallowing will give you a sense of direction, the thing you lack most in this rut. also, when you have food in ya, it begins to absorb the alcohol lingering in your system. especially so if its fast food, the oil will help balance out the drink in you.
OK!!!!! now the part that youve all been waiting for!! my very own methods to address hangovers. try em, i promise youll be amazed at the great results. or not, and endure a pounding headache for a day or two, i dont care.
5) orange juice. reliable old orange juice!!! any brand will do. its more the sweetness and shock you get when you down a glass which hits you like a hammer. it stings like a dirty look from a friend, but it works like a charm. more for the milder of hangovers.
4) The Smoothie. for this you need a blender, and someone to use it while you keep far away so the noise doesnt prompt your aching brain to leap out your ear. 2 spoons of milo powder. 4 bars of kit kat chocolate. 3 spoons of coffee powder. 3 cups of water. 2 bananas, sliced up of course. another cup of water and finally a cup of milk(if your lactose intolerant, use soya milk, they both work fine.). put it all into the blender in that order. mix, drink not more than 3 cups every 2 hours. there you have it, the miracle Smoothie! more for the deadlier of hangovers.
3) dota. ok ok, so what if you suck like shit when your hungover and trying to play dota. it helps you out because, believe it or not, the pain gets numbed by a tremendous amount. no lie! thats why we can play dota and not go hungry, thirsty or to the washroom for hours on end. dota, or other computer games, just blocks off the discomfort while your playing. its possible to actually pawn(or, if you suck at dota, BE pawned) until you get over the hangover.
2) bathe and bathe and bathe. yeah, self-explanatory. keep your body under running water, soon youll feel your worries and stuff just wash off. mmmmmmmmm
1) EAT. FOOD. ok this is vital. eat your breakfast or your lunch as soon as you wake up. i vow its the greatest way to get over your shitty mood. this morning for example, i had scrambled eggs for breakfast. i just wanted to get back to sleep, but i knew that id wake up feeling worse off. so i dragged myself to the table and chowed down. now im feeling mucha mucha better!!!
THATS ALL FOLKS! hope you all found this guide helpful. anyone has any suggestions or hangover cures that have been tried and proven to be ultra effective, pass em to me. ill put em up here!
Carlos Santana feat. Steve Tyler's Feel Better
And I know, I know, I know
Part of me says let it go
That life happens for a reason
I don't, I don't, I don't
Cause it never worked before
But this time, this time
I'm gonna try anything to just feel better
Tell me what to do
You know I can't see through
The haze around me
And I'll do anything to just feel better
I can't find my way
God I need a change
And I'll do anything to just feel better
Any little thing to just feel better
