charissa

i dont know if youll read this, but i gotta write about you.

this blog was meant to be a journal of everything of lau han-loong's A Levels, Army, and Everything In Between. i mentioned before that it will be a record of my life during this period, and wont dodge or duck emotions or feelings. i have no ulterior motive for writing this, but to record everything that you meant to me.

char, youve been THE biggest part of me during the time leading up to a levels. when i look back in the future and think about my j1 and j2 life... ill instantly remember you. no matter what, no matter what happens to the two of us months or even years down the line, it is undeniable that weve been the biggest part of each other's lives from 2006-2007. this year was one of the happiest ive ever had.

but... its over. i write this to cement it in my mind, so i can look back and remember all that weve done together. because we HAVE done so much together, and i never ever want to forget what my first true love felt like. it was amazingly beautiful.

we can be nothing but friends, so as a friend i wish you good luck with your future. whatever you decide to do, if you really do believe that its what you want and it makes you happy... then ill look you in the eye, smile, and pray that you find what you are looking for.

for all our time together, youve been my driving force and the person behind me in all the things i do.

so thank you.

for being my best friend.

for being there for me the past year.

and above all... for loving me and letting me love you.

ill be a friend, i swear. so many people who end their relationships promise that they can be friends but just drift apart. charissa, you know that i keep my promises. so i make this promise to you... ill to be there for you, as one of the best friends you can ever have.

whenever you need help, advice or guidance... all you have to do is ask. because i care for you. i want to see you laugh, smile and be happy. thats what real friendship means, and i intend to live up to it. i treasure our friendship, and will do anything to preserve it.

capping it all off... charissa ong, know that ill never overstep my boundaries. ill never ever threaten our bond. i dont want to be hurt this much again and i know neither do you. so to end... char, i want to do a little prayer for you.

Dear God,

its me again. i know that ive been coming to You a lot lately and Youve been hearing out my worries and troubles. many a time ive asked You to protect char, to give her strength and wisdom. this time is no different God.

Lord, please... shes a great, kind person. guide her and keep her from harm. You are the Almighty, and everything happens according to Your will. You have a great plan for each and everyone of us.

God, the pain and sadness we felt during this time was one of the worst ever, but You work in mysterious ways. I entrust everthing that occurs in the future into Your hands. we both believe in You and rely on Your love to carry us through everything... please help.

i thank You for the happiness and good times You gave me and charissa. we were truly in love and i thank You for making all that possible.

Lord, now we both go forward without each other's love to lean on. i pray that You will provide the voice to tell us how to go about our lives the best we can.

God... through You is everything is possible. me and charissa being happy in the future is possible through You. i love You and pray with all my heart You will be there to catch us if either of us ever falls.

All this i pray in Jesus' name, Amen.

Dashboard Confessional's So Long, So Long


Hand out the window,
Floatin’ on air.
Just a flip of the wrist,
And I am wavin’ you goodbye.

Drive past the lifeguard stand,
Where I'd sit around waitin' for you to remember.

As I drive...

How the girls can turn to ghosts before your eyes,
And the very dreams that led to them are keeping them from dying.
And how the grace with which she walked into your life,
Will stay with you in your steps, and pace with you a while.
For so long, so long.
So long, so long.

The speaker in this door is blown,
So nothin' sounds quite right.
Takin' my time, takin' this drive, wavin' this town goodbye.
I drive this ocean road and remember,
The small of your back,
The nape of your neck.
I remember everything as I drive,
Wavin' this town goodbye.

How the girls can turn to ghosts before your eyes,
And the very dreams that led to them are keeping them from dying.
And how the grace with which she walked into your life,
Will stay with you in your steps, and pace with you a while.
For so long, so long, so long, so long, so long, so long.
So long, so long.
So long, so long. (Takin' my time, takin' this drive,)
So long, so long. (Wavin' this town goodbye.)
So long, so long.
So long, so long.
So long, so long.

And I will leave under the cover,
Of summer’s kiss upon the sky.
Like the stone face of your lover,
Just before she says goodbye.
I was certain that the season could be held between my arms,
But just as summer’s hold is fleeting.
I was here but now,
I’m gone. (So long, so long.)
I'm gone. (So long, so long.)
I'm gone, I'm gone. (So long, so long.)
I'm gone, I'm gone, I'm gone, I'm gone. (So long, so long.)
I'm gone, I'm gone, I'm gone, I'm gone. (So long, so long.)