pale light through heavy curtains, dull misgivings about you

when you break up with someone, or refuse to return a person's professed feelings, a bond is soured. can it be repaired? how long will it take? are questions that come to mind. i think it all depends on how strong the bond was before everything went to pieces. the amount of time spent, emotions shared and insight gained are all called into question. but most of all, the level of sincerity present when you say "i hope we can still be friends".

yesterday i took a cab home with char. and for the first time in a really long time we opened up to each other. sitting in the dark as lights and blurs rushed past us, is it really any wonder that we starting talking about things? but how long did that take? four months and ten days.

yes, i am that meticulous about dates.

it took us around fifteen, twenty minutes to get to her house. but in that short short short span of time, i felt a burden lift. i dont know what this burden was, no clue where it stemmed from, no idea at all. i didnt even realise it was there. it was this little extra weight in my chest latched on since God knows when, something under the surface that was neglible: a pull that i just learned to cope with. after that ride home, i finally let it go.

maybe im being melodramatic. maybe its just part of my nature, to glorify my own little unique circumstances. maybe an average, everyday response is to say oh ok that was nice haha. i havnt the faintest. but i dont care. it took a cab ride and something new, but not quite, to make me a better person. and thus, risking being a drama king once more... thanks char. this is for you : )

wherever

a years come and gone now
winters about to fade
the days are getting warm now
im gonna rest my head

goodnight kisses and love yous
loving you in the shade
its all in the past though
now i can get to bed

wherever i go ill never
forget the smell of your hair
and wherever i go ill never
forget that smile on your face

its been so long and i know it
sounds strange coming from me
but please tell me
help me always remember
the times when we were meant to be

cause even though im past it
and i know so are you
youll always be
at the back of my mind
times when i called you mine

and i hope i see you again soon
because thats what friends hope for
and this friends not going anywhere
but maybe wherever you will go

Alter Bridge's In Loving Memory

And I know
You're a part of me
And its your song
That sets me free
I sing it while
I feel I can't hold on
I sing tonight
'Cause it comforts me