ive been unfair to people who mean a lot to me. i put a lot into my friendships, and recently ive been demanding returns. like wei ting put into perspective for me, how can you do that? its just like donating to charity. when you do something out of the good thats inside you, isnt it unreasonable to expect something in return? it defeats the whole purpose doesnt it?
that is true. unquestionably so. and i intend to resolve it as fast as my mind lets me. i believe that the root of this problem stems from how i am actually extremely afraid of army, and what i need is my friends around me showing how much they love and care for me just so i can be reassured everythings alright. its good to have the feeling that people are looking out for you when you have to go through a patch where they cant physically be right there.
but then, they just wouldnt be the people i love if they acted any differently would they? yanni is yanni, and thats why i treasure her. wei ting is wei ting, shun is shun, jerome is jerome and so on and so forth. i love them all, and im sure they love me back. like so much else, faith placed in people is foundational to everything they mean to you. and i believe in my loved ones.
this blog wont be moving very much for the next two weeks for the obvious reason of my confinement. but im carrying a notebook with me into camp to record everything that i experience, from the worst march through heavy rain to the best feeling ever when i call a friend. thus, ill have a lot to write when i get out. and maybe even another song, just like this one.
this is for my loved ones, and you know who you are. after all, youve got faith in me, dont you? : ) till two weeks time me lovelies, FOR MY SAKE PLEASE PICK UP YOUR PHONE WHEN I CALL!!!!
p.s. this song is unfinished. mentioned in a post a bit back, i was having trouble writing. but after thinking over everything and spending time with the people who mean the world to me, i realise that theres nothing to keep me back from pouring it all out. ill finish the chorus and post it up here asap.
Lau Han-Loong's The Two Week Goodbye
I know
That you won’t
See me around
But ill go
And you won’t
Make a sound
Cause by now
Its night out
Its getting late
You’re sleeping
I’m slippin
Far from grace
