.and thats how we down pes.
actually to be honest, i dunno whats gonna happen next.
worst case scenario(which isnt that bad, seriously): they dont ooc me and i continue the sea
soldier course without any physical training. hahahahhaa
best case: they post me out and i start playing for SAFSA while doing an 8-5.
well see. in the mean time...
chill out weekend baby!!
right ok, time to start on todays topic. ill be talking about something pretty abstract, so if i lose your attention forgive me. this is simply something i must get outta the way, something ive been working on ever since my last book in. i put quite a bit of effort into this piece, so bear with me alright.
today ill be talking about the malleability of friendships. this may seem a tad obscure, so ill break things down a bit. when i say malleability, i refer to quite a large spectrum. flexibility, sturdiness, stability and above all consistency of relationships are what im looking at.
basically, on one hand i want to examine why some relationships fluctuate and on the other, why some stay the same. there has to be some... link between every friendship we possess that acts as a determining factor, swaying the outcome of our intertwined lives. a mouthful, i know. but i was writing this in a little red book with a pen close to out of ink so yes i still think i set the scope pretty well.
to make this more relatable, i will have to use a subject matter. a case study, if you will. itll be similar to me using imagery in past posts, but this time i must be more direct and outstanding if this document will seem down to earth and relatable to everyone. after all, whats the point of raving about matters when they seem alien and wayward to everyone around me?
in this instance, i have chosen to showcase myself. because not only will i have first hand experiences of everything that i feel is relevant, but on a more personal level, there are some unsolved issues i intend to get out of the way. minor ones, but still, its good to clear ones mind of every doubt possible.
alright, lets start with a couple of friendships which i feel are the pinnacles of great companionship.
now keep in mind the examples are by no means any indication of how much more i value their friendship over others. i just believe since i blog about these two people so much, everyone will have a better idea of what im touching on.
firstly: jaesh. now here is a guy with whom i go way back. for years weve been good buddies, helping each other out whenever possible and always kidding around. the thing is, i havnt actually met him in some time. we talk on the phone and sms of course. but still, theres no substitute for the real thing. when i DO meet him again(which shall be soon, i swear it.), it will be as if we met just the day before. the best part is, no matter how long we havnt spoken, our friendship stays the same: strong and formidable. hmmm.
keeping this in mind, lets move on to another friend: jerome. ive known him for more than 2 years, yet only really grew close to my pai last december. since then weve been partying like every night was our last on this earth. great times. yet, one thing should be noted.
despite the many times weve gone for clubbing, drinking, eating meals, birthday parties etc. etc., things never get stale. we continue to put huge emphasis on looking out for each other and squeezing all the fun outta life. why though?
well... i intend to know at the end of this post.
ok, time to delve into the more unpleasant side of this conversation. that is, friendships which are hard to maintain/last. for me, the one person that really comes to mind if yanni. i feel its because i spent quite a bit of that time of ultimate freedom(this freedom being ultimate due to... well... ive mentioned it before, im sure of it.) in between ns and A levels building our friendship. thus, it was more hard felt for me. the question of "was it time well spent?" echoes even louder considering this.
ANNNYWAY, back after our A levels, i was pretty tight with miss chen. i mean, we hit hong kong together with chris, had many an ice cream and star gazing at her place and so on and so forth. then bmt came around. i had to spend a tremendous amount of time in camp and yanni had her own stuff to handle(an 8 to 5, a suitor. hahhaa i said suitor. i always wanted to say that.). it seemed that our bond was meant to fade.
dont get me wrong! i did try my best to strike up conversations with her and plan a little meet or two. but they all fell through and after a while i admitted to myself yanni just didnt have that much free time to spare. so a month passed without us meeting, even TALKING before we met at jon's birthday party. although everything was fine(laughing with each other, making a toast to NTU and NUS business), i felt a bit off the next day.
maybe it was seeing someone whom i could once count among my best friends in such a long time.
or maybe it was merely the fact that i had this sinking feeling i wouldnt see her again for another long stretch.
alright, so there we have it. three instances to examine. after listing them out and comparing them with each other(which took some time. i spent much of my admin/free time in camp staring out at the dark ocean while pondering all of this. needless to say, the cool sea breeze and lights dancing on the water stirred up quite a bit of reminiscing about old times.), ive begun to flesh out a bit of what guides a friendship along.
circumstances: when the time is just right, so too will the friendship. after all, how can one spend his free time with another when that person has his/her hands full doing something else? or if one goes to australia for three months while the other is stuck in ns...
willingness: friendship goes both ways. any situation where one friend feels that the other doesnt take the time or effort to ask him out is not a functional relationship. a sense of equality and mutual interest is important.
interests: well, obviously. i like sports, clubbing and chilling out over meals or coffee. i wouldnt be comfortable with somebody whos scared witless by athletic activities, likes to spend his saturday night reading self help books or prefers to eat his meals in seclusion outta styrofoam boxes. this is an extreme example, but there you go.
mmm. impressed? : D although i loathe to attach a formulae to something as beautiful as friendship, it does seem that there are constants which have to be present for a fruitful bond. sometimes, friendships are meant between people during a certain period in their lives. when all 3 factors are there. after that period is done, the friendship fades. maybe its one persons fault, maybe neithers.
i guess thats how it was with yanni. im not accusing her of anything like being too cold or making no time for friends, heavens no. these things are just meant... or not meant, to last.
i spoke to jon about it and he said thats how ns life is. it kills a lot of friendships because it just drains away so much of your time. well, thats not how im going to go about it. i have many good friends still, and i intend to keep them all. thats a promise i make to myself.
jaesh
kiat
geraldine
jerome
xin wei
ian
wei ting
tze shun
samuel
shi han
so before i leave all of you for a good nights snack, heres something i hammered out while gazing at the gentle waves illuminated by the harbor lights near every night. life constantly brings new friends. but its up to us to keep the ones we have.
Alicia Key's No One
You and me together
Through the days and nights
I don’t worry cause everything’s gonna be alright
People keep talking
They can say what they like
actually to be honest, i dunno whats gonna happen next.
worst case scenario(which isnt that bad, seriously): they dont ooc me and i continue the sea
soldier course without any physical training. hahahahhaa
best case: they post me out and i start playing for SAFSA while doing an 8-5.
well see. in the mean time...
chill out weekend baby!!
right ok, time to start on todays topic. ill be talking about something pretty abstract, so if i lose your attention forgive me. this is simply something i must get outta the way, something ive been working on ever since my last book in. i put quite a bit of effort into this piece, so bear with me alright.
today ill be talking about the malleability of friendships. this may seem a tad obscure, so ill break things down a bit. when i say malleability, i refer to quite a large spectrum. flexibility, sturdiness, stability and above all consistency of relationships are what im looking at.
basically, on one hand i want to examine why some relationships fluctuate and on the other, why some stay the same. there has to be some... link between every friendship we possess that acts as a determining factor, swaying the outcome of our intertwined lives. a mouthful, i know. but i was writing this in a little red book with a pen close to out of ink so yes i still think i set the scope pretty well.
to make this more relatable, i will have to use a subject matter. a case study, if you will. itll be similar to me using imagery in past posts, but this time i must be more direct and outstanding if this document will seem down to earth and relatable to everyone. after all, whats the point of raving about matters when they seem alien and wayward to everyone around me?
in this instance, i have chosen to showcase myself. because not only will i have first hand experiences of everything that i feel is relevant, but on a more personal level, there are some unsolved issues i intend to get out of the way. minor ones, but still, its good to clear ones mind of every doubt possible.
alright, lets start with a couple of friendships which i feel are the pinnacles of great companionship.
now keep in mind the examples are by no means any indication of how much more i value their friendship over others. i just believe since i blog about these two people so much, everyone will have a better idea of what im touching on.
firstly: jaesh. now here is a guy with whom i go way back. for years weve been good buddies, helping each other out whenever possible and always kidding around. the thing is, i havnt actually met him in some time. we talk on the phone and sms of course. but still, theres no substitute for the real thing. when i DO meet him again(which shall be soon, i swear it.), it will be as if we met just the day before. the best part is, no matter how long we havnt spoken, our friendship stays the same: strong and formidable. hmmm.
keeping this in mind, lets move on to another friend: jerome. ive known him for more than 2 years, yet only really grew close to my pai last december. since then weve been partying like every night was our last on this earth. great times. yet, one thing should be noted.
despite the many times weve gone for clubbing, drinking, eating meals, birthday parties etc. etc., things never get stale. we continue to put huge emphasis on looking out for each other and squeezing all the fun outta life. why though?
well... i intend to know at the end of this post.
ok, time to delve into the more unpleasant side of this conversation. that is, friendships which are hard to maintain/last. for me, the one person that really comes to mind if yanni. i feel its because i spent quite a bit of that time of ultimate freedom(this freedom being ultimate due to... well... ive mentioned it before, im sure of it.) in between ns and A levels building our friendship. thus, it was more hard felt for me. the question of "was it time well spent?" echoes even louder considering this.
ANNNYWAY, back after our A levels, i was pretty tight with miss chen. i mean, we hit hong kong together with chris, had many an ice cream and star gazing at her place and so on and so forth. then bmt came around. i had to spend a tremendous amount of time in camp and yanni had her own stuff to handle(an 8 to 5, a suitor. hahhaa i said suitor. i always wanted to say that.). it seemed that our bond was meant to fade.
dont get me wrong! i did try my best to strike up conversations with her and plan a little meet or two. but they all fell through and after a while i admitted to myself yanni just didnt have that much free time to spare. so a month passed without us meeting, even TALKING before we met at jon's birthday party. although everything was fine(laughing with each other, making a toast to NTU and NUS business), i felt a bit off the next day.
maybe it was seeing someone whom i could once count among my best friends in such a long time.
or maybe it was merely the fact that i had this sinking feeling i wouldnt see her again for another long stretch.
alright, so there we have it. three instances to examine. after listing them out and comparing them with each other(which took some time. i spent much of my admin/free time in camp staring out at the dark ocean while pondering all of this. needless to say, the cool sea breeze and lights dancing on the water stirred up quite a bit of reminiscing about old times.), ive begun to flesh out a bit of what guides a friendship along.
circumstances: when the time is just right, so too will the friendship. after all, how can one spend his free time with another when that person has his/her hands full doing something else? or if one goes to australia for three months while the other is stuck in ns...
willingness: friendship goes both ways. any situation where one friend feels that the other doesnt take the time or effort to ask him out is not a functional relationship. a sense of equality and mutual interest is important.
interests: well, obviously. i like sports, clubbing and chilling out over meals or coffee. i wouldnt be comfortable with somebody whos scared witless by athletic activities, likes to spend his saturday night reading self help books or prefers to eat his meals in seclusion outta styrofoam boxes. this is an extreme example, but there you go.
mmm. impressed? : D although i loathe to attach a formulae to something as beautiful as friendship, it does seem that there are constants which have to be present for a fruitful bond. sometimes, friendships are meant between people during a certain period in their lives. when all 3 factors are there. after that period is done, the friendship fades. maybe its one persons fault, maybe neithers.
i guess thats how it was with yanni. im not accusing her of anything like being too cold or making no time for friends, heavens no. these things are just meant... or not meant, to last.
i spoke to jon about it and he said thats how ns life is. it kills a lot of friendships because it just drains away so much of your time. well, thats not how im going to go about it. i have many good friends still, and i intend to keep them all. thats a promise i make to myself.
jaesh
kiat
geraldine
jerome
xin wei
ian
wei ting
tze shun
samuel
shi han
so before i leave all of you for a good nights snack, heres something i hammered out while gazing at the gentle waves illuminated by the harbor lights near every night. life constantly brings new friends. but its up to us to keep the ones we have.
Alicia Key's No One
You and me together
Through the days and nights
I don’t worry cause everything’s gonna be alright
People keep talking
They can say what they like
All i know is everything's gonna be alright
